Feeling lost...

You know what I have been missing a lot as of late? My old friendships. I don't know if it is because I have been so home sick as of late or what but I really miss my last year of high school. Not being in high school it's self but the people I had become friends with and the memories we shared. Now don't get me wrong I still talk to many of these people and I am very thankful for that but our friendships just aren't the same. I keep on thinking back to when things began to head south. When did our friendships not become as meaningful.

I understand that I don't live nearly as close as I used to but I feel like that shouldn't matter. My roommate lives just as far from her friends as I do yet they are all just as close. They talk on the phone all the time, constantly text each other, and they even fly out here to see her. Who the fuck from mass other then my dad calls me? Non of you. Hell, even when I do fly out there you guys bitch because I stay on the Cape and not in Haverhill and other then two people, TWO, non of you came down to visit. Non of you could make an hour and a half drive when I just fly 3,000 miles and pay a good few hundred dollars to come home. I was home for three fucking months last time and only two people came down to visit. I got to say it is a fucking low blow.

I really dislike the fact that the majority of my "friends" act like our friendships mean nothing. Slowly you are all making me feel like a bitter old fuck. Next time I am home...if you don't make the effort to come and see me wether it is when I do happen to go to Haverhill for a day or two or when I am down on the cape then don't even fucking bother. I am honestly sick and tired of your sad fucking excuses.

Their are a few people that I understand why they aren't able to really trek all over MA. Mostly because they have a child to care for. This is mostly the only reason I would ever go back to Haverhill. People are just so disappointing.