I suppose there are a few things I feel the need to write about tonight. One being the fact that I now greatly dislike many of the people in Massachusetts that I had once considered friends. I can't even tell you how many of you would ask me how long I was in MA and then once I said I was going to be on the cape you all were like...oh damn. I just paid a couple hundred dollars and flew almost 3,000 miles and you can't even drive an hour and a half. Well fuck you.
I am am honestly so disgusted with people in society today. I just can't understand how shallow and self absorbed so many people are. Now I know not every one is that way and sometimes people just have their moments and that isn't who they really are but some people just think about themselves and only themselves. I also know that I am no saint on the subject but I do make an honest effort not to just think about myself. I do put myself first in the sense that I need to take care of myself but not in the way that I only do what I want for myself alone.
Now normally I don't talk about people in a negative way on here. At least not very specifically but right now I feel the need to. If you read this, maybe it will open your eyes.
As of right now when I think of you I really just laugh and roll my eyes. I can't even comprehend your selfishness. I've never asked anything out of you other then, don't just use me as a booty call and to be open and honest. The first one you held onto and I thank you for that. At least you had some morals then. The second though, not so much. As much as honesty might sting at the moment it is always the best thing. Yet you had to go and start ignoring me. You are hot one moment and cold the next. One day you can't seem to get enough of me and you couldn't act any fucking cuter but then all of a sudden you flip switch so fucking fast I don't even have time to let me eyes adjust to the light.
I've always told you that I respected a friendship out of you more then anything and if that was all you wanted then that was all you had to say. I understand the shit you are going through, at least to an extend. We both have been hurt and we both weren't looking for much more then a person to in a way lean on. That was all I wanted but clearly you just thought I was lying to you. I don't care that you didn't want anything, I'm more hurt by the fact that you so willingly through a friendship out of the window.
Also after the last few weeks I have realized I can clearly do better for myself. Going home opened up my eyes. I was treated like a fucking princess there and I realized what I could have if I wanted it. Also the last few days made me realize some more of my potential. Now don't think I am trying to sound like some stuck up conceded bitch or anything. That is not what I am trying to convey. I usually just settle for what I can get and I realize now that I don't need to do that.
Well I must cut this a bit short now...off to photoshoot with Clairebear. My one true love :D
No comments:
Post a Comment